smiling older woman leaning against a door frame

On Women over 50

In Humor! by Emerson Jane BrowneLeave a Comment

smiling older woman leaning against a door frame

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why ……

An over 50 woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If an over 50 woman doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it’s usually something more interesting.

An over 50 woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants, and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a darn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

An over 50 woman usually has had her fill of “meaningful relationships” and “commitment.” The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover.

Over 50 women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Over 50 women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

An over 50 woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. A woman over 50 woman couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an over 50 woman. They always already know.

Over 50 women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you’re a jerk if you’re acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise over 50 women for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed, hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.”

Footnotes:12 3

  1. This is a paraphrasing of a longer piece written by Frank Kaiser for his Suddenly Senior column. His original piece is here: http://www.suddenlysenior.com/praiseolderwomen.html
  2. This piece is often incorrectly attributed to Andy Rooney. See the this Snopes link for the whole story.
  3. Image Attribution & Copyright: racorn / Purchased from: 123RF Stock Photo
Emerson Jane Browne

I am Emerson Jane Browne. I write about Brains, Apps, & Productivity, and many other aspects of Life. I speak to TBI support groups, speak and teach workshops at tech, music, and writer conferences. I consult with organizations on strategic planning and building a strong community.