Yesterday I wrote some about what I want to do in this blog and how I feel very "done" with the PR of worrying to the extreme about how people will receive the blog and what they will think of me from reading it.
Well, the other thing that was feeding into that post was that I had just received an "update email" that a friend sent out to his "helpers" and other friends and family who care about his ongoing recovery from a serious accident. He sounded extremely upbeat as he described his physical therapy and other progress. He has often sounded that way.
I found myself comparing my writing in this blog to his extremely upbeat email and finding myself lacking . . . but as I let it sink in more I had a wonderful BFO that put me at ease.
Doug's work is different from mine. We have both been given an
opportunity to work on our weak areas – in how we interact with the
world as well as the actual healing. And we are both rising to the challenge offered to us.
Doug closed with noting the positive tone to his email himself: Dear helpers, when I write these updates I see I tend to express the positive. It's not that I don't get bummed out, and often. And went on to explain, On a karmic level, because of so much you all invested into my life, I find I have a commitment to give back a life that is well-lived, with as much integrity and awakeness as I can muster. You see, I can no longer just space-out and bum-out into sleepy negativity. That would be throwing away gifts that are not mine to throw away.
As Doug says he can no longer just space-out and bum-out into sleepy negativity. That is Doug's work. My sister and I used to referred to Doug as an "Eyore" because he did have a tendency to whine and complain at times. This accident has given him a new way of looking at and relating to the preciousness of life.
My work is in what I wrote about in the post from yesterday. I was not an Eyore. I was more of a 3CPO! My work is about peeling off some layers of protection and exposing my soft, human, and vulnerable interior.
I am, as Doug says above, [committed] to give back a life that is well-lived, with as much integrity and awakeness as I can muster.
A long while ago when I was dealing with what I will call "blog-fear" I put some new words to William W. Purkey's quote:
You gotta write like nobody's reading,
Love, like you'll never be hurt;
Sing like nobody's listening;
It's gotta come from the heart ,
If you want to be heard.
Okay,so ends the third post on the topic of blogging! Now I am going to get back to doing it instead of writing about it!
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